Trying to run away from reality
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 ϟ 7:56 PM ϟ 0 Comment[s]
Sorry if my post is a bit gushy and harsh today. My sister good friend's mother passed away today. Sigh. Feeling rather upset and down, and heartache too. I know this is life, I know, I seriously know, I don't need you to remind me. Watching her mother getting weaker day by day, and then suddenly she went off. It's so painful.
Everyday, everynight, everywhere I go, everything that I do, it still constantly remind me of my cousin death. I wished I could just forget everything so easily and let it go. But it's not easy, I need time to stop myself from thinking. I am still learning to control my tears and emotions. But I really need time to let go. Everynight I try to stop myself from thinking, but no matter what I do, it just don't work on me.. I just want to vent all my emotions and thoughts out. I know life still goes on, it won't stop rotating just because of me. Sigh.
I hate people who always say things like that,"Aiya, this is life what, what do you expect it to be then?" It doesn't affect you at all, you don't know how it feels like, you won't understand at all and you are not me. Perhaps you can put yourself in my shoe, then you tell me how you would feel. I also wish that I could simply just tell myself that this is life. So I don't have to be upset about it or whatsoever? I just need a listening ear, just a listening ear, not someone who tells me theory about LIFE?! You could just listen to me, it won't really affect me at all. Because at least I got to vent everything out. Please don't tell me anything about life, I don't wanna hear that. Damn everything, I hate it!
I got back my O's level Chinese result today. I was feeling really nervous when my teacher call out our name one by one. It was my turned, I walked towards my teacher desk and try to peep at my results. I saw "D", at the moment I felt so disappointed. I was wondering, wth had I been doing? Why did I get a "D"?! Then I asked my teacher, "Huh, teacher, I get D ah? Really ah?" She told me to sign first and she will tell me about my result. I then realised that I got "B3" but not "D". -.- I was like, so relieved!! My "D" was actually my Oral. My teacher told me that I did very well for my Oral, I got distinction for it. Then she ask me whether I wanna retake my Chinese again? I am still considering whether to retake or not? My aim is to get either A1 or A2. But if I were to retake, I am afraid I might crash my others O's paper as the re-test will be in October too. Hai ya.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
*R.I.P*
